Fateful Destiny
- Profielbezoeken: 343
- Profiel gecreëerd: March 2007
- www.bebo.com/depths-and-outcomes
- Categorie:
- Fictie
- Me, Myself, and I
- A story i wrote for engllish extension... hope you'll luv it as much as i enjoyed writting it
A warning though it may get a little gruesom since its a vampire story...well ennjjooyy and plz feel free to comment
and feel free to visit my actual profile on bebo if u guys wanna enjoyy
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My Chemical Romance - Vampires Will Never Hurt You
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ok well ive been meaning to go over my story but i kinda dont have time coz of uni essays, work and well im tryin to write up a full proper one in the hopes that it'll go well and it'll get published...but well ive had plenty of dreams like that and i havn't stuk to them so im prayin i'll keep to this one no matter how long it takes.
so if you're reading this story now it is only a first draft from wen i was in yr 11 and wasn't bothered going over it and there are plenty of mistakes, abrupt moments but enough flow to get the point across loll...it is, as i have said, a reaaly great story but it aint perfect cause i hav't drafted or proof read it which is what i had planned to do but never got around to cause new hopes and dreams have come to light but hey a story is a story right and mayb ill be able to strat posting bits and pieces of my new one soon and when i do i'll let you guys know but for now i say ciao coz i got plenty of work to get done loll
Cyyazz
xoxoxo1 Commentaar 795 dagen
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Hi ppl
Hey everyone umm if u read my story and dislike it well im sorry for wasting ur time but if u read it an like it than yyaayy u guys have gr8 taste
... umm the story i wrote was an assignment i had bak in yr eleven for extension and i also like writting in my spare time so i wanted to share it... so hope u guys like...neways cyya lata ppl and enjoy the stories
0 Commentaren 973 dagen
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John Sharp123 weken geledenI shall have to keep my eyes peeled for more then.
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John Sharp124 weken geleden
you posted the other day on my page saying you hoped there was more-there's more now. Hope you enjoy
John -
John Sharp124 weken geleden
Hi, and thanks for reading my story and commenting. I'm just in the process of editting some stuff to go up on Bebo in the next few days. Fair does on the accent about being done two years ago. I'm curious, have you written anymore since then or do you plan to?
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John Sharp125 weken geleden
an enjoyable story. I agree on previous comments about the accent. Not bad though. My suggestion to help with accent, and writing in general-read your finished piece aloud. This gives a good feel for how a piece of writing will flow.
http://www.bebo.com/Ezril-Rain-Dancer
my story if you want to read it.
John
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Andy Walker140 weken geledenVery good Amanda, a new take on the old vampire story. One big thing that ruined it for me, and it is a big stumbling block for alot of writers, the dreaded accent. It eez zo eeezy to get carrieed away wiz eet, ze furst time you try ya? Try rewriting without spelling out the accent, describe his accent in some other way. As it is, it remains comical in what is otherwise a serious horror story, and just breaks down the flow of the story.
Very good writing though, keep it up!
your story that was brillant, i really liked that
door Andy Boyle 131 weken geledenREVIEW The accent was OTT!!
door Quiz Madness 134 weken geleden