The Powerful Six
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- Profile created: May 2007
- www.bebo.com/ThePowerfulSix
- Category:
- Mystery/Thrillers
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Should i make a character die if so which one
- Yes- Tane
- Yes- Miriana
- Yes- James
- Yes- Tania
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HELP!!!
Du you guys wanna help me with this story. your feedback really helps and if you have any ideas of wat could happen in the story or anything then it would be great to hear your thoughts. If there is anything you think i could improve then that would be great to so yeah feel free to help.
0 Comments 877 days
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Traicer95 weeks agoall right
http://bebo.com/ilevtsuponu
try this pls
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Gabi111 weeks agoumm evri 1 hu said 2 read der books i will and na i didnt get ma ideas frm ravens gate. is it a gud book if it is i mite read it 2 lol
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It'S Shorty121 weeks agoDid u get ur Ideas from the book Raven's gate?
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Alex Dawn121 weeks agoIf you like this story then check out my book http://a-new-world------.bebo.com
gory, fast passed and full serects!! -
Luke Fitch122 weeks agocheck out this book it rocks
http://www.bebo.com/joefitchbooks -
Thurysa126 weeks agoHI please check out my book http://nocturnal-cats.bebo.com
pretty cool you can sorta get in to it but i have no idea whats going on exept the powerful 6 just killed an inosent kid and his siss dont care if it was my brother id tern agenst the other 5 but then agen i dont know what theyd been throgh
by Beth W 42 weeks agohi i like it a lot
by Lauren Merrall 126 weeks agobut some stuff isnt believeable..such as them just being able to enrol in a school. that couldnt happen not without family info it really couldn't. most of the story couldnt work really you dont mention how old they are but they couldnt get a place to stay at their age as i assume if they wanna go to school theyre under 18. THtas the only problem really. theyd be easily caught out.
anyway...cool idea...just not totally realistic to an extent where i couldnt really ignore it. basic systems of how thing really work arent established or taken to account.
but like i said i liked it its intriging. gonna keep reading so keep writing!!!
the powerful six love the story, few spelling mistakes, but hey, everyone makes those.really, REALLY like to see more of it.Just my kinda story!
by Elaine C 127 weeks agoi love it..... its just the chapters could be longer but the story was awsome.
by Ewan 127 weeks agoplease do write more becuase you have great talent its probably my favourite book on bebo!!!!!!
Seriously you are great.
A Gd piece Lovely start to it, had me wanna read more, looking forword to the end, keep writing, hopefully u will show to a directer and make a film!
by -MJ. 128 weeks agoFine with me You have a lot of potential for this story. The summary sounds promising enough. Howver, I would like to give you a word of caution; too much sentences that are too long might not be a good thing. No offense, but I really had a hard time trying to decipher those long sentences.
by May Han 130 weeks agoOther than the spelling errors you've made, your style of writing and descriptions are great. This is only a preliminary review; it will get better because I usually give reviews based on the plot and character development. Therefore, I apologize for this not-so-favourable review. But then, I assure you that it will get better as you progress and the plot moves on.