1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

* During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
* When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
* If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
* All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
* The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
* All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
* It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
* The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
* Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
* The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
* All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
* If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
* You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
* Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
* If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
* A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
* When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
* Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
* If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
* Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
* Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
* All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
* A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
* Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
* Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
* It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
* Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
* It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
* It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
* When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
* No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
* Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
* You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
* Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building w

1) C\'mere = Excuse me

2) I will yeah! = no!

3)\'\'What\'s the story\'\'+ \'\'Right Boi\'\'? = how are you?

4) Hows the form? = hows it hanging?:

5) You would yeah! = You wouldn\'t dare!

6) State a him = He looks bad

7) (Ah / Awe) now sham = that\'s good

Pure = very

9) Two fucks = care

10) Couldn\'t give two fucks = I don\'t care

11) Like = this word is used at least once in every Sligo sentence.
E.g. Ah know like you understand don\'t ya?

12) Like eh = Used as a hesitation at the start of a sentence.

13) Bate = beat up, used with da fuck.
E.g. I\'ll bate da fuck outa ya

14) Scetch = There\'s someone coming

15) A trip in the white van = A trip in an ambulance

16) Dry Enough = Crap or Boring

17) Gaff = house

1 Free Gaff = house where the parents r absent (party at the gaff)

19) In it = do